Time Flies When You Are Having Fun....So True

 Is it really already the end of the month? When did this happen!? I feel like it has gone by way to fast. Before life/time seemed to be going by super slow speed, it was so painful I just wanted it to be over. Now I never want this feeling to go away, it’s amazing. So you probably want to know how my date with Ryan went. It went really well I couldn’t stop smiling afterwards. I was so happy. He is a really sweet guy that makes me laugh and smile and I really love spending time with him. He is the best. I have not really stopped hanging out with him sense our first date. That’s why I have not been on here for awhile. Lately I have been only doing three things, working, sleeping or hanging out with Ryan. I wish I could tell you all the aspects of this relationship (yes I did say relationship) but I want to keep this to myself in a way. It’s really special to me. It’s all just happing so fast, but it feels so right. I would actually be ok to use the word boyfriend…( I hate that word, but I could use it with Ryan….it’s kind of freaking me out) I really like this kid….I feel like I should have my heart more on lock down, I mean that was my plan, I mean seeing what the heck I have just been through I should be a total bitch to any guy who is only just being nice to me. HAHAHAHAHAhAhA! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I think I know what this is…but it just can’t be. I should explain that I really did like Ryan for awhile, but I repressed my feelings for him cause 1. We work together 2. He is a bit older than me (but I like it, I thought he had a problem with my age) 3. I just got out of a rather fucked up relationship and I didn’t really think I had anything to offer. So he was like the guy that I just messed with at work. We played pranks on each other and well we set up Christmas trees together. That’s where we really bonded, it’s not a lie when they say the holidays bring people closer together. It’s just funny how when you have an open mind, things become so clear. Things really do happen for a reason. It’s like destiny or something crazy like that. Well I work tonight but Ryan is going to come and pick me up and he is going to come over and we are going to watch Despicable Me. I am sooo excited! Ok so I know I say this a lot but…I will be back and I will try to write at least once I week. I promise! I will do my best, until next time. Love Life!

I Must Be In A Dream.....Life Is To Sweet To Be Real! This Is Not The Life I Am Used To.

Another Naked Guy...Really?

Hello...I know, once again I disappeared from my own little world on the internet. I am sorry and once again I will just blame it on life being in the way...along with my being depressed. I have been in the dumps, ever since there was a naked guy running around at work. HAHAHAH! Normally you would think it would make my day, but all it did was remind me of the one person I just want to forget about. I should really start from the begging before you get confused about the story of my wonderful life. So I was having a good few weeks, everything was fine and dandy nothing was getting me down. Than my boss called me and asked if I could come in early and help take down Christmas trees (More money for me in Sweden! So why turn it down?). I agreed and I was off to work. As I was pulling in to work I saw this dazed and really confused young guy warped in a bed sheet sitting on a bench. He had that same look. I walked past him in a rush because I felt that I could not breath, I wanted to throw up my insides. Everyone was standing in the lobby staring at him, I looked at some of my fellow coworkers asking them a silent question..."What the hell was going on?" Any way the guy had that same look as Evan did when he was in that weird state of mind and it really freaked me out. I had a panic attack at work. I got some tea and hid in a room trying to breathe and restring my tears, because I knew if I started I wouldn’t be able to stop. They ended up calling the cops and carted him away...just like Evan. All day I was a bit unhappy to say the least. I was having reruns all day in my head of Evan in his manic mind (It was GREAT….). Ryan (He works with me in a different department) was all concerned about me, he is used to me smiling all the time (I did not realize that I smiled so much). He just wanted to make me smile so he made it his goal to do just that. He did an amazing job and at one point he made me blush and giggle like a little girl. Bahahahahahaha! Any way ever since that day I have been a little off, because from far away I thought it was Evan, I am not paranoid or anything I just thought this because when he was in the strange state of mind he tried to see me several times at work. It got me anxious. Any way I am doing a bit better not a 100% but I am getting there. I also kind of got asked out by Ryan, I really did not see that one coming. I knew he fancied me, but not to the point of that he wants to see me outside of work. He is a bit older than me (by five years...hahahaha!) Sooooo we shall see. He is a cool kid, and is fun to hangout with. That’s what I need in my life FUN! We all could use a little more fun. Well I am out, until my next epic story…..

Soooo Much On My Mind, I Can't Get Away From It........