Almost Human

Hello!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am sorry I have not been in touch. The last few days I was not feeling so good and I didn't really want to share my negative vibes with the world. So I kept them to my self. Lets see.....the start of my week was wonderful. I hangout with an old friend of mine, we kind of had a date...It freaked me out a bit cause I have known him for about 6 years he is a great guy and he is the best, but I don't really feel like I want anything to do with guys period. Also there is the slight problem that I still love my ex boyfriend who is in a hospital and will be there for 2 months, lets not forget that my ex boyfriend did not at all treat me the way I deserved. Why do I love that asshole? I wont lie to you my love is really fading away. Its really rather sad.......Anyway I also hangout with a friend of mine from work, well she no longer works with me but I met her from there. She goes to the university here in town. We had a good time. I went to her house and made dinner and after that we had a fun time shoving my bike into her tiny ass car. By the time we got it in there I was sitting on the dashboard, we couldn't stop laughing.


All this week every night I have had dreams about August. Its driving me insane! Why cant I just cut him out?! Anyway that's when I saw that I missed his phone call. He left a voicemail and half of me was tempted to delete it without listening,but I was weak and listened to it. He just wanted to call and tell me about his life at the place where he is at. I just want to yell at him and tell him he cant just pop up in my life when he wants to but that's wrong...right? Mmmmmmmmm....There is so much I want to say to him but at the same time I just want him to fuck off. A part of me even feels like he isn't even real...he is real, he just feels like a dream. A bad dream at this point. I feel like I am being mean, but its just what I feel at this point in time.


Well tonight I am going out with my friends. I am excited. I hope I can just go crazy! HAHAHAHAAHA! I really just need to have fun and let loose. I will let you know how it goes. See ya!


PS: I found out the band Mumford and Sons is going to perform near to where I live! I am going to go even if that means I need to sell a liver to the black market. HAHAHA!