The Only Time I’m Not Happy to Lose Ten Pounds

So I have not eaten in three days... (Ok I have only had water and maybe some ginger cookies along with two bananas) But anything else I try to eat it just won’t stay down. It really sucks. I love eating. I have this strange way of dealing with stress, it’s like the physical manifestation of my stress. I need to get it out of me. (I don’t know if it makes since) I am starting to freak out my family however, I really don’t mean to. I mean I have stopped bursting in to tears at random points throughout the day (which is good...right?) At this point I am doing so much better than before. (I think it really helped that I got to write out everything that had happened to me in last two weeks of my life…I still can’t believe how much I have been through…no wonder I feel too sick to eat) I have come to the realization that August did this to me, but I also did it to myself. You should always follow your gut because for the most part its right, listen to it, or suffer the consciences, whatever they may be. I am still really angry that stuff turned out the way they did, but it wasn’t meant to be. Life has some amazing things in store for me, I can feel it. August was just holding me back and I can see that now. I don’t in any way regret my relationship with him, all though the lessons were hard, he taught me some things I will never forget, I will carry those lessons with me till the day I die. I know this part is going to sound crazy but I will always have a special place in my heart and soul for August, even though my love for him at this point has turned to hate. I can see the bigger picture in this whole situation however. (FYI the picture looks freaking beyond marvelous!!!!!)